Social isolation and lockdown

We’re now on day I cannot even remember the number. I’ve also been sick for a period of six weeks and recovering for a couple.

Change of routine haven’t really affected me too much; I am a support worker, so if I have either been going to work or at home sick. I understand that my routines are important to me, but also the fact that I work shifts means that I try not to get too bogged down by ‘on Friday night, I go the pub between 6 and 9pm’, or ‘I must go out for a walk in the morning every day’. My routine isn’t fixed in that way. Sure, I need to have an espresso first thing on waking regardless that’s 5am or 11am. I also stop drinking coffee after lunchtime as I value my sleep far too much.

I’m fortunate in that I have full comprehension of risk and awareness and therefore I am quite happy to not take unnecessary risks with my health; the jury is still out whether once been Covid-19 positive provides a resistance to further infection or if the virus is already mutating. I can state with confidence, that I really don’t want to feel that I’ll again.

For the cycling geeks, I can state that my Vo2max went from 47 to 32 more or less overnight and only hard work and an effective recovery have seen this return and that took 7 weeks.

Basically, my obsessions involve being able to do things for which I need to fit and healthy and when I’m sick, I cannot maintain those. Ergo, my health really is paramount. As my constitutional law lecturer battered into me, decades ago “There is no such thing as unlimited altruism.” Meaning that I care deeply about others, but that I also have a degree of self-interest.

Therefore, I am happy to maintain social distancing, despite the fact that normally I am a person who hugs everyone. I also have little desire to return to a bar or other entertainment venue until I know that it’s safe to do so and that social distancing is being observed.

I have finally committed to a proper training plan during the last couple of weeks and already seeing results, although after being sick, improvement is not necessarily an improvement upon 8 weeks ago. Also, my race bike is in for a repair from a crack in the seat stay and having just brought a power meter to only use it once, I have yet to assess improvement or not on an actual trail, rather than a virtual environment, which has become more important during my recovery.

Maintaining a positive mental outlook has become increasingly important over the last year or so and even more over the last couple of months: having suffered from dark days, weeks and months in the past, I simply do not want to return there. The “black dog” can sit in a kennel and sleep quietly, we’re both aware of each other, but I’m not wanting to wake him.

The lockdown will pass and some kind of normal will return. In the meantime, I am rather enjoying a greater degree of wildlife, less traffic noise, a quieter commute and less hustle and bustle.

I have races planned. Fitness is improving and I am looking forward to competition again. I thrive on plans and enjoying the planning.

I don’t have all of the answers and life is rather less than certain at the moment. However, I’m just happy to be me at this point and having an understanding of how my neurological composition affects me, the main thing is having a plan, but accepting that it may not be 100% certain and that uncertainty isn’t anything I can control.

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