I’m often stressed or anxious. I sometimes have shutdowns, however, a full blown meltdown is rare for me these days. Let me clarify something, there is a huge difference between a tantrum or sulking and a meltdown. Whilst all of the above may result in challenging behaviour; a tantrum is something conscious, which the person exhibiting the behaviour has a control over. Compare this to a meltdown in a person with autism; this happens when there is too much stimulus or stress and the person literally cannot process.
This happened to me on Thursday night, quite late when the cat decided to trash my wardrobe (one of those canvas affairs). Wardrobe crashed down and clothing everywhere, just as I was about to retire to bed. I then couldn’t find one of the supporting plastic lugs which holds part of the thing together. Cue, overloading and the first major meltdown in a while.
Aside from the mental exhaustion, the physical feeling of incompetence and frustration as well as feeling emotionally and physically wiped out, pretty much meant the anything I did on Friday was impaired by fatigue. In order to combat this, I decided to follow my obsessions and went for a ride but refused to attempt anything technically challenging. Anyone interested can find a link to my Strava account in the links page
I'm one of the many people who discovered that they are on the autistic spectrum as an adult, indeed, in my mid-forties. I'd always assumed that I was just a little socially inept, despite having a reasonably large circle of friends and associates, I often felt along in a crowded room.
A long term injury placed restrictions upon my physical mobility, that said, I through myself into various things with typical enthusiasm. It was once stated, by a long term partner that "You don't have hobbies, you have obsessions." It's true, for example, I've climbed mountains, included some of the UK's highest and most technical (Ben Nevis, Snowdon and Pen y Fan included, whilst on crutches, in the name of what I considered to be a hobby and other's considered to be a bit more life-absorbing.
It's true, I assumed that everyone who had a hobby became incredibly passionate about it. I was a very successful DJ on the UK and European Gothic scene, the music of which and running events was indeed an obsession, but one which afforded me the chance to hide behind a drink and a set of decks.
Then there was Switzerland, the bikes, the mountains, the open expanses with very few people; even in the busy resorts.
Now, I'm back in the UK. embarking on new adventures and learning how to make the best of my unique and special, albeit, challenging life.
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