I should state frankly that as I’ve got older, the shorter my patience has become. I’m not sure why, but I find myself very driven in most things, but waiting for anything, even in a queue becomes very frustrating and I find myself having to constantly stim; sometimes consciously and at others not.
I’ve got my first cross country mountain bike race of the year on the 27th and training has been hindered by my being ill with a cold and chest infection. I’m on the antibiotics and they are helping: today is the first time that I’ve started to feel human in about a fortnight. I can’t wait to get back to training, but I am aware that I’m not going to be pushing myself hard until race day now. Being unable to absorb myself in my obsession makes me irritable and frustrated. So instead I have to plan and prepare without training. This will involve making sure that the bike is running as smoothly as possible and that my kit is prepared, checked, double checked and strategies are firmly in mind. I have, today, organised my race entry and category, which means that I am committed.
Focus has been difficult in the last week or so, external factors relating to my health and that of those around me. My mind has also been feeling rather foggy, which happens when I’m unwell. This has impacted upon things and energy has been rubbish.
However, I am getting back to normal. I’m internally battling not compromising recovery by doing something stupid and fighting to acknowledge that if I can’t ride for another few days, then so be it. Better to be well enough to race than not.
Keeping my obsession fuelled in preparation will simply have to satisfy me for another few days and next week will involve a couple of gentle spins to just get my muscles happy with turning over.